Thursday, 8th May 1997
So there's a suicide cult called "Heaven's Gate". That's like naming your terrorist organisation "Ishtar" or "The Last Action Hero". If you got that, give yourself a pat on the back. If you found it funny, give yourself electro-convulsive therapy.
Bloke goes into a bar with this girl wearing nothing but a pair of red stilettoes, leather peaked cap and carrying a whip. The barman says to the bloke, "you could've put some pants on."
Girl goes into this bloke with a bar, knocks him flat and pinches his wallet. Not so much a joke, more a cautionary tale.
That's as far as I can remember, the alarm came on at that point, so I had to go to sleep.
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