An Horror of Rooms

Thursday, 17th April 1997

The only constant is change. That means, eventually, that the constant itself will change and we will be locked in a loop of familiarity and eventlessness. "Or is that just bollocks, Les?"

The most boring cab driver in the world lives down past the Old Bill pub off an alley in a fly-blown shed. Through the course of your journey he will mutter through his moustache in a thick pastoral Irish accent (the kind where you can usually only pick out the word "fock'n"), causing you to politely attune your hearing so as to facilitate understanding, until you realise that he's talking in detail about what he had for dinner in 1977. He's probably a really lovely bloke but he'll mumble the hind legs off of you.

Eat your greens. One day they'll be eating you.

B