Tuesday, 26 February 2008

Prick Features

Wednesday, 9th April 1997

Anybody got any tips for an ailing cactus? It's looking all peaky, probably just ailing from office conditions. As are we all, I suppose, but I've got a feeling cactii don't respond quite so well to lots of coffee and a good bitch.

Once again, thanks for the response. The NAME THAT CACTUS switchboard lit up almost immediately, I had to get celebrity e-mail operators (such as Ruth Madoc from TV's "Hi-de-hi") in to cope with the volume of suggestions.

Meh. It probably wouldn't have made any difference anyway. I'm calling it Reg.

And yes, I am aware of how sad it is to personify a plant and then go on to tell everyone about it. What can I say? We are all of us victims of circumstance.

B

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