Wet Cigarette

Friday, 15th November 1996

It's Friday. You know what that means, don't you? That's right: in three days it'll be Monday again.
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Chris Evans' researchers aren't worth shite. "How Sweet To Be An Idiot" was either a Neil Innes solo song or a Bonzo Dog Band song - it was most certainly not a Rutles song.

Hey, and if Neil Innes could get an out-of-court payment for Oasis ripping his song off for "Whatever", then it's lottery rollover week for Colour Me Badd, the estates of Marc Bolan and Karen Carpenter, the Stones, Blondie, George Harrison, and probably about thirty other musos. Hope Noel's got deep pockets...

And the Smashing Pumpkins kissing Noel & Liam's sweaty, purulent arses on the MTV Awards last night - "oh, thanks for the Best Rock Band award but really Oasis should've won it, they're the best since the Beatles, oh, oh, I'm going off to write some poetry" - please Jimmy, put your tongue back in your gob...
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"Get out your leadpipe pipedreams, get out your ten foot flags, the insects are huge and the toilets are full and the drugs won't kill your day job..."

And if THAT don't just say it all.