Clams Don't Have Teeth

Wednesday, 12th February 1997

The man and the dog story, coming to your mailboxes soon. I was going to do it at home, but I've taken the machine in for an oil change and refurb, excuses excuses.

Let other pens dwell on misery and guilt, wrote Jane Austen in her magnificent Mansfield Park. A wonderful book, I remember the York notes well. In the borrowed copy I borrowed from a semi-literate classmate, he had written "Fannies a tawt" in the section on Characterisation. Never actually have read the book proper, I cannot find it suitable to comment on the veracity of the book's heroine Fanny's tawthood, but from the intricate synopsies which helped me on the path to whatever English exam it was, she was certainly a bit of an asre.

The response to yesterday's poll on the wantedness of the morning mail message was staggering. Thank you all so much. You all deserve bollocks for breakfast, and shall have nothing less.

Eat, drink, and don't forget to chew well before swallowing.

B